STAGES OF GRIEVING

The Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary defines grieving as the feeling or expression of great sadness, especially when someone dies. It is an emotional response as a result of bereavement. Kessler, D. (n.d.). refers to the American-Swiss psychiatrist, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, and her book “On Grief and Grieving”, when dividing grieving into five stages. These stages are as follows:

Stage 1: Denial

This is where the person is in shock and disbelief, and wonders whether he/she can go on with life. The grieving person may show little emotion, and blatantly denies the occurrence of death. Denial is a natural adaptation strategy to help the individual cope with his/her loss.

Stage 2: Anger

At this stage, the grieving person becomes angry and blames others. Doctors and other health professionals as well as other family members may be blamed for the loss. Some people may even blame the deceased, and sometimes God. Anger also helps the individual to heal from the hurt of loss. 

Stage 3: Bargaining

The individual may secretly make a deal with God or other divine beings in an attempt to postpone the inevitable (Axelrod, 2019). They may use phrases such as “If only . . .”, “I should have . . .”.

Guilt may accompany bargaining, as the individual blames self for his/her loss.

Stage 4: Depression

The individual shows weariness and tiredness as he/she now faces the full extent of the loss. The person, at this stage, may show signs of depression which may manifest with the inability to sleep and loss of appetite. There is a feeling of emptiness, as the individual feels the impact of his/her loss. Depression is also part of the healing process after a loss.

Stage 5: Acceptance

At this stage, the individual slowly accepts the loss, recognizing that their loved ones are physically gone, and that the loss is permanent. There may be instances where memories of the deceased will evoke pangs of grief, but these may not be so intense. The individual gradually moves on with his/her life. Acceptance does not necessarily mean that the individual is “all right” with the loss.

Kessler (n.d) further describes a sixth stage of grieving termed “meaning”. In finding meaning from a loss, an individual is well-primed to accepting and dealing with subsequent losses.

It must be understood that grieving has no timeline, and individuals grieve differently. Duration and extent of grieving are usually dependent on

•              personality differences

•              relationship to the deceased person

•              opportunities available for continuing life

•              past experiences of loss

•              circumstances surrounding the loss.

To help cope with a loss, individuals dealing with the loss of a loved one are advised

•              not to isolate self

•              face grief directly

•              talk about feelings with others.

Author: James Obeng Acheampong

REFERENCES

Axelrod, J. (2019). The 5 Stages of Grief & Loss. Retrieved from                                                             https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/. [Accessed 26 July 2019].

Grief. (2019). In: Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionaries, [online] Available at:https://                   www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/English/grief [Accessed 24 July 2019]. 

Kessler, D. (n.d.). Five Stages of Grief, Retrieved from http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/.  [Accessed 26 July 2019].