The Cambridge Advanced Learner's
Dictionary defines grieving as the feeling or expression of great sadness,
especially when someone dies. It is an emotional response as a result of
bereavement. Kessler, D. (n.d.). refers to the American-Swiss psychiatrist, Elizabeth
Kubler-Ross, and her book “On Grief and Grieving”, when dividing grieving into five stages. These
stages are as follows:
Stage 1: Denial
This is where the person is in shock
and disbelief, and wonders whether he/she can go on with life. The grieving
person may show little emotion, and blatantly denies the occurrence of death.
Denial is a natural adaptation strategy to help the individual cope with
his/her loss.
Stage 2: Anger
At this stage, the grieving person
becomes angry and blames others. Doctors and other health professionals as well
as other family members may be blamed for the loss. Some people may even blame
the deceased, and sometimes God. Anger also helps the individual to heal from
the hurt of loss.
Stage 3: Bargaining
The individual may secretly make a
deal with God or other divine beings in an attempt to postpone the inevitable
(Axelrod, 2019). They may use phrases such as “If only . . .”, “I should have .
. .”.
Guilt may accompany bargaining, as the
individual blames self for his/her loss.
Stage 4: Depression
The individual shows weariness and
tiredness as he/she now faces the full extent of the loss. The person, at this
stage, may show signs of depression which may manifest with the inability to
sleep and loss of appetite. There is a feeling of emptiness, as the individual
feels the impact of his/her loss. Depression is also part of the healing
process after a loss.
Stage 5: Acceptance
At this stage, the individual slowly
accepts the loss, recognizing that their loved ones are physically gone, and
that the loss is permanent. There may be instances where memories of the
deceased will evoke pangs of grief, but these may not be so intense. The
individual gradually moves on with his/her life. Acceptance does not
necessarily mean that the individual is “all right” with the loss.
Kessler (n.d) further describes a sixth stage
of grieving termed “meaning”. In finding meaning from a loss, an individual is
well-primed to accepting and dealing with subsequent losses.
It must be understood that grieving
has no timeline, and individuals grieve differently. Duration and extent of
grieving are usually dependent on
•
personality
differences
•
relationship
to the deceased person
•
opportunities
available for continuing life
•
past
experiences of loss
•
circumstances
surrounding the loss.
To help cope with a loss, individuals
dealing with the loss of a loved one are advised
•
not
to isolate self
•
face
grief directly
•
talk
about feelings with others.
REFERENCES
Axelrod, J. (2019). The 5 Stages of
Grief & Loss. Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/. [Accessed 26 July 2019].
Grief. (2019). In: Cambridge
Advanced Learner’s Dictionaries, [online] Available at:https:// www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/English/grief
[Accessed 24 July 2019].
Kessler, D. (n.d.). Five Stages of
Grief, Retrieved from http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/. [Accessed 26 July 2019].
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